The song that makes me cry

#scatters_through_music #blogging

Last kiss by Taylor Swift

(speak now album)

I still remember the look on your face

Lit through the darkness at 1:58

The words that you whispered

For just us to know

You told me to love me

So why did you go away?


I do recall the smell of the rain

Fresh on the pavement

I ran off the plane

The July 9th

The beat of your heart

It jumps through your shirt

I can still feel your arms

But now I’ll go sit on the floor

Wearing your clothes

All that I know is

I don’t know how to be something you miss

I never thought we’d have a last kiss

Never imagined we’d end like this

Your name, forever the name on my lips

I do remember the swing on your step

The life of the party, you’re showing off again

And then I roll my eyes and then you pull me in

I’m not much for dancing but for you I did

Because I love your handshake, meeting my father

I love how you walk with your hands in your pockets

How you kiss me when I was in the middle of saying something

There’s not a day I miss those rude interruptions

And I’ll go sit on the floor

Wearing your clothes

All that I know is I don’t know how to be something you miss

Never thought we’d have a last kiss

Never imagined we’d end like this

Your name, forever the name on my lips

So I’ll watch life in pictures like I used to watch you sleep

And I feel you forget me like I used to feel you breath

And I keep up with our old friend just to ask them how you are

Hope it’s nice where you are

And I hope the sun shines and it’s a beautiful day

And something reminds you

You wish you had stayed

You can plan for a change in weather and time

But I never planned on you

Changing your mind

So I’ll go sit on the floor

Wearing your clothes

All that I know is

I don’t know how to be something you miss

Never thought we’d have our last kiss

Never imagined we’d end like this

Your name, forever the name on my lips

Just like our last kiss

Forever the name on my lips

Forever the name on my lips

Just like our last….

This song is much about heartbreak. It tells about the story of being into a relationship and then break up as well.

Reminisces everything that happened . Thinking about that person and hopes that it’s in a good life, in a good condition.

Wishes it never leave. Hopes it thinks and also misses her but there’s no assurance for such thing . And somehow ,I could relate myself to it.


My blog’s state

#new_look #blogging

For my one month of blogging here in WordPress , I did not first mind about editing my blog or to put it designs. At first, I’m using the theme independent publisher ‘til that one month passed and I celebrated my monthsary together with my space.

I changed the theme to dara and Then I was quiet satisfied and very much happy about how my blog looks like. But because I want to explore lots of new strange things to be done , Yesterday I again changed my theme to Baskerville 2, there it was, I found the perfect theme for my cyber diary.

Well, after the theme has been changed, I saw the customization button and then I confidently press it even though I don’t really know what is this all about. At first, I met customization as strange (really an odd) I don’t know what’s the purpose of it and then later I found out that it was the tool given to personalize your blog.

I continue doing things together with it and then I became frustrated the time I couldn’t get it. I struggled a lot while doing edits, I could not perfectly change my blog and do it myself.

* I lost the home button at menu.

*I lost the social shortcuts at social menu.

I came to the point where I almost lost my interest in doing it and the decision to stop publishing writings and well, I guess that will be the most ridiculous thing I will ever do. I don’t want to lost my blog cause it’s my diary, my freedom. I became really stressed and frustrated because of that..but I decided not to do so. YES! I DID THE RIGHT THING.

I didn’t stop ’til I got everything back, I even already linked my accounts at the other menu including my facebook, Twitter, flickr, tumblr, and also my other socials.

I edited my blog for about an hours, I wasted lots of data, but there’s no regret .

Now, my blog was personalized. I changed the background image, I put my site recognition, I changed the font , and there I have written about my site (what is this?) , and who I am as it’s author and publisher.

Here it is:

How my weekend will work.

#it’llbetiring #blogging

It’s weekend again, the so-called week composed of two short days (we’re all wondering why Saturday’s near from Monday and Monday is so far from Saturday.A really bothering silly question.)

By the way, since it is weekend it is the collection of days for resting and attending church, probably for resting. But “not” for me.

This coming week I’ll be having my fourth grading exams in all my subjects and it’ll be the last period for this school year and (huh), if that so-called K-12 wasn’t implemented, I am just then expected to be a college student already the next school year but because the program was, I still have two more years to spend in high school and I was just tired enough.

Regarding with that examination, our teachers already gave us all the things we have to submit before the computation of our grades ( I hope I won’t get 75. “ 80” it will do.) they told us what to pay, what we are to present (actually we have 3 role playings in total.) this is why I’m for sure won’t be comfortable this weekend, I won’t get the proper sleep, and all I can do is to accomplish everything and I know all of them will worth and will be beneficial for me.

Later this day, I’ll be going to one of my classmates house to have some practice for one of our role playings and this will be for MUSIC I think cause it’s a theatrical presentation, it will surely take a lot of time so I will also come home tired and frustrated again like it’s the first day with lots of works.

I remember I have to check out market tomorrow to buy all the ingredients I need for pizza-making (Yazz! We’ll be making pizzas and that will also be our last performance for our subject cookery). Another thing to add,is to copy a lot from the book, and some aren’t there so I already borrowed notebooks from my classmates. Maybe at the subjects Math, Science, and I don’t know the rest, our English notebooks was already checked. So Sunday ,I am also expected to be tired and frustrated again.

(And about blogging) I never make any excuses.

So, even though I’ll be busy I will still find and search for my vacants where I can type type type and give new updates.

Anyway, we’ll be having our recollection this Monday so it’s another experience,another learning, another thing to share.


This is why we can’t FORGET. (What’s in this things?)

#whyisit? #blogging

“MEMORIES”. The way we call them but why they stay?, why they last? Why they don’t fade since the day we’ve experienced them?

All of us already met lots of things starting the day our minds already existed as something that could readily understand and analyze. They might either be happy, sad or anything that wasn’t said and every single of them leaves a mark in our minds, they always play a role that stands big obligation to us,something that is not removable and also unchangeable. We may ask, “Why they stay to us even a long time passed? ” Yes,why?

Well, there’s always an answer. That experience gave us something that is memorable, that either made us happy or not, completed or broken. But whatever the answer is, that memory is important because we got enduring lessons from it, inspirations, motivations, and stepping stones.

We have lots of things to think about, to remember and that always excavate us. They pin and stick themselves at our feelings ,letting us understand their worth and how precious they are.

For our years of living , we’ve also met lots of people, people that became close to us ,became as someone we can lean on, to confess our secrets, our problems, and anything that we want them to hear and know about. With that, they became special and someone to be always remembered and never be forgotten. Our time being with them could sometimes be hard to realize that we’re making some sketches, sketches where plans starts and in with that plans, everything will work as a whole, everything will be build as complete.

Maybe we’re not all counting the days that comes everytime we wake up and open our eyes from sleeping and we also don’t know that that days,that chapters add lots of things to be inserted and to be keep at our pretty minds, they are what we shall add at our collection of pages and at that collection of pages, our book of life will little by little going to be a story, a story to be published ,to be shared, to be knowned.

Our brains is the best collector among all, we don’t know how many memories does it collect every single day, every events in our lives, from every people, and every failures. It’s the best writer before our hands cause our hands only follows what’s inside our minds, what’s our ideas and it’s not the main processor at all, it’s our experiences.

“Go ahead, take it all,make it as a part . Something that we can’t forget means it’s special to us because they once became one of our engineers.”

If I were to be invisible….

#free_verse #poetryNow #blogging

I want to walk away. To hide myself from all of them.

If I were to be invisible, I want to explore the world.Do everything I love.

If I were to be invisible, I want to be as what I really am. Hiding nothing.

If I were to be invisible, I will only show who I am. Revealing it now.

If I were to be invisible, I will dress up myself whatever style I want.This is me.

If I were to be invisible, I want to reach anything. Freely achieving them.

If I were to be invisible, I will make my saddest face. No worries about having it.

If I were to be invisible, I want to stock myself in silence and darkness. A peace.

If I were to be invisible, I want to be alone.Cry ’til no tears at all.

If I were to be invisible, I will shout all my hidden words. Saying them proudly.

If I were to be invisible, I would like to forgive them. Giving pity and ready to forget.

If I were to be invisible, I’d rather choose to think about nothing. An empty mind.

If I were to be invisible, I will confront each days with fake smiles. The new beginnings.

If I were to be invisible, I’ll always accept new people. Accepting them as part of me.

If I were to be invisible ,I’ll always welcome them as people who can hurt and betray me. I’m tamed.

If I were to be invisible, I will be as a bird flying with sometimes no direction. Just searching for food.

If I were to be invisible, I will be as a butterfly being with nature. Connecting myself in it though I don’t really know how.

If I were to be invisible, I’ll just go with the flow. How the world works.

If I were to be invisible, I’m always ready to receive and accept failures. Not new to me. BUT;

If I were to be invisible, I’ll always believe in God. The most powerful among all.

If I were to be invisible ,I know I’ll be visible again cause I know I’m with him. To find the real me.

If I’m already visible, I’ll start again and reboot my life. Opening another books with lots of chapters.

If I’m already visible again, I will always wear my authentic smiles.Letting the happiness always be there.

If I’m already visible again,I will do my biggest laughs. Biggest simplicity.

If Im already VISIBLE , I know I’m totally FREE.


#nowayforit #blogging

Blogging as we all know, it is a way to give other people who opens net the different informations that will be useful and are meant to be useful. Blogging topics are sometimes about hot topics or issues and it’s main intention is to help people gather new ideas, insights, or learnings about all these.

“FAKE NEWS”, well we can never avoid it, there’s some sort of people who always love to play and to trick others, to make some fools. With that,there are people out there who wants to prohibit blogging cause they say that it is also a way of sharing wrong Informations to others, especially because having a blog means having a site and it is available through searching online so people can easily have it since it’s openly accessible.

I always asks, “why? ”, “Not all bloggers do the said thing.” Most of them shares about their lives, their experiences ,their learnings, their opinions,and some things that are relatable with todays different scenarios. Yes,maybe some does but not all of them and one more thing, nobody’s perfect for making nothing but precise writings.

That’s why sometimes I can’t avoid to say that “Most of people don’t know how to think properly and understand things correctly and that is what I’ve learned about ’em. ”

They shall never make a hasty-generalization ,they are maybe correct about this “fake news” but this doesn’t mean that they shall think wrongly about all bloggers and have the will to prohibit blogging. If they will do this, for sure and without no doubt ,many writers who just focuses with their lifestyles together with their space like us will boycott and are going to question these particular group of people for doing it improperly.

We may ask,

“What if this people in position consider blogging as one of the things that will against them? ”

“What’s next to happen? ”

Surely, we’ll loss our freedom. Our chance to write, our chance to express, and with that, our chance to showcase our talents in this keyboard work , and that is something we don’t want to happen and we will never let happen.

Blogging is a social.

Blogging is a good work. Most of all,

Blogging is FREEDOM!

I’m a failure again…

#thisis_worse #blogging

Not to mention the whole thing that happened this day but for me this is the most disgusting thing I would ever share and write here right now in my blog.

Yesterday, my adviser asked me to make a help-asking letter for one of my classmates and of course like what he told me to do, I did the thing cause I’m just simply playing my role being the president of the class.

(Maybe, you guys won’t really understand this post cause I won’t literally going to tell what happened and I just don’t want to open it up here as precise as it was.)

Jump to the next events,

I brought that letter I made and let him and our school principal agree and sign it, and once they sign it, it only means that the letter is just alright and not violating something. One by one, we asked every class to give voluntary amount and we let their class president to read it and them all to hear it.

The A.M. ended and I first got my self home and take my lunch. And then afternoon, we continue to let that letter reach all people in school so that at least they can give our classmate a help but at that time, our adviser told us to just ask financial help to teachers only, and then I and one of my classmate did the thing.

’til that letter reached our slightly strict Mathematics teacher, we told her about it and then said that it was for one of our classmates. She looked and read the letter, said something that are just harsh and told us that the letter is wrong in a way that it intrudes someone’s privacy, she also commanded us to change the letter and make it better.I and my buddy bought a piece of paper at our school canteen, I wrote everything and change the letter, we let our adviser to sign it again and he asked why,so I told him about it and he said to us to let our Mathematics teacher also sign the letter so we got ourselves to library where she was. She read it again and then agreed.In that situation I was almost OK and calm if she just didn’t call me “IDIOT” for writing such letter intruding privacy.

Anyway, I didn’t mean it and that’s what made it so disgusting for me. At that moment, I felt like I lost every single thing, my confidence, my interest to help, and of course the will to write.

I may never be that good in her subject or what but it’s my right to be respected and not to be dissed cause as a student, I mean I’m just a student and I have nothing to do against her, I shall hold my rights being it and of course the power not to be called in such way.

One more thing that made me hate this day, (also connected with it) My last year teacher noticed that the letter wasn’t really correct and she already saw and read it the past morning, my only concern “why she didn’t tell me about it? ”

Our faculty teacher also said that there’s something wrong with the letter and also asked who wrote it and I just want to be honest, I said that it was me.

Back at the night when I was in the making of that work, I really don’t have any idea how to make it cause the reason behind shall really be private and it’s been a question for me, “How can I make this letter without violating or humiliating anyone or anyone’s privacy?” so I asked my adviser through social media if “what’s the reason? ” and then he told me about it and same as what he told me, I just wrote it down there. It’s not totally me then, I just did my task being the class president but ok, I’m blameworthy if I really am.

When I realized every thing, I just became sad,I cried so hard without even more minding what our Math teacher said to me, and felt like sorry to my classmate who’s the concern for that letter, I felt like I shamed her though it’s not of my intention cause she’s a good person, classmate, and good friend to me as well.

If that letter is really wrong, then I’ll accept it. If I’m an idiot, then I’ll accept it. But one thing’s I can never accept, I already dissed someone because of that unintended mistake.

Wish I would never grow up!

#AllImissed #blogging

Aging is one of our considered inevitables. Well knowingly, we have 3(three) stages in life and it is the stage of being a kid, being a teenager, most of all is the stage of being aged or old and it seems to be the hardest time/stage cause we just have to take it seriously and live to the fullest we can.

Ok, of course we can never be as what we are right now if we didn’t pass the time being a little children, the time being honest,not knowing what are the things that goes on, not knowing what we are doing, not even knowing about what might happen, cause what we all know is to have some fun out of some things, play all day, and think about nothing to do except for it.

I still remember the time when I was that little, I thought that my time being a kid won’t be short, that’s why I always asks it to fleet,I just want to find my road to growing up.

Deny it or not, when we’re some small children, we all wished that time would pass so swift so we can be as a matured girl or boy. We have waited for so long ’til that time came and then suddenly we will be awakened that we are already that matured person we want to be and then suddenly also felt like we’re sad for not doing our best reaching the limit as a small child having that spacious mind.

I was thinking that the life of being a teenager would be easy but it isn’t then. Unlike before, I’m holding lots of rules to follow, I’m holding lots of roles to play. Right now, I guess being in this stage is the hardest part of life, the chapter of having a hard time when it comes to school,take some of the responsibilities, and being someone to be blameworthy . They may say that being grown-up mature is the most exciting part of living, the climax but this is also the time of frustration, stresses ,disgusts,madness,or whatnot.

Before I thought that being a teenager would be as easy as eating a “piece of cake” like I have nothing to think about and just go with the flow at all time but now, I found out that it wasn’t the way I was expecting it as.

Here’s to compare it:

When we’re little, we can do whatever we want no matter how time-taking it is, we’re limitless as long as we would follow what our parents wants, of course we’re guided for lots of good reasons. One more thing, we don’t have any thing to be done, we have nothing to think about like school or what. And also, the long time we have to do the things we like, to play, to make laughters, immunize ourselves with dirts and filths together with our siblings and cousins or our chilhood playmates.To be specific, we’re FREE.

While when we are already some teenage there ,it’s something hard to do whatever we want I mean there’s a lots of limits cause of the roles we have to attend and send ourselves at.

One more exhausting addition. Being it, being mature enough is also questionable to others especially when we’re committing or doing wrong things,they may ask us ’bout our knowledge and ability to understand and that was really harsh.

SCHOOL. yes school,that’s also one of the important things we always have to consider ,we shall never be absent and we have to maintain our good grades and that’s just annoying and sometimes hard to experience.Aside from that ,school is also the thing that puts limit for every teenagers,5 days of going there and only 2 days of rest, that’s why there’s nothing really compares with having childhood as a part of us.

I want to go back to the time where I can always do whatever and whenever I want, where I’m not liable for some wrong things I may do or commit. But everything is impossible. I am totally in regret for not taking my time enjoying life as innocent and as an angel-like because of thinking too much about growing up where I’m in difficulty.

I am maybe too numb for not realizing what I have that time, for not realizing the years given to me to enjoy all my fresh starts,my trials of learning.

But anyway, time is intangible, it’s unchangeable,so what we are to do is to accept every single little thing that comes and also, to accept all of our little or even big mistakes.

What’s important is that we became more and more tame and good in life.



I’m in celebration

#my1stmonth #blogging

Yesterday, I recieved an e-mail from WP with this content :

I was amazingly surprised that I made my first month of blogging at


and with that month, I already packed my site with random posts which includes my experiences ,opinions, and the things that I shared there.

I could remember the first post WordPress has given to me when I was a starter, I guess it gives all new bloggers that post and even the photography wasn’t really mine, there’s a blogger that leaved a comment saying:“nice photography”. Well ,he’s a good,excellent blogger actually. Ok, back again at my celebration, with that number of days I’ve worked in writing I received much more than what I expected, here it is:


*162 visitors

*135 likes ;and


Here’s some other screenshots from my stats:

-the countries

-The contents being visited:

So, I made 23 pieces of works and I feel so comfort right now that I even had my experience in blogging ,I gain much exercise while discovering my talent as well as my self more.Right now, I’m looking forward for some things that will be new to me as well as to my space,I’m planning for some upgrades to be done with my updates and engage more people in reading the things I’m doing.

This time, I could remember all the mornings when I woke up, I immediately seek for my phone to check it all out, open the application and see and read new notifications.The first time, I wasn’t really interested in it since like what I said before I don’t have any idea and knowledge about this thing but apparently, there’s no regret for continuing this blog.

As of now, for my first month, it’s obvious that I’m using the theme “independent publisher” cause it says that it suits for some aspiring independent bloggers, but this upcoming posts I may try using some other cool things that are strange to me, discover more things ’bout how to be a good editor,and also to meet new people that’ll probably be amazing to meet.

Today is March 7,2018 and this celebration will be my newest post as for my counting 2nd month. In my 1st month, I’ve learned a lot of things that I can of course use for my writing techniques, I saw and read a lots of pieces that’ll help me in doing so.

In that time that passed, I gain 32 followers /readers and I’m just really glad. By the way, I’d like and love to thank those other bloggers who likes my posts, and leave pleasing comments, thanks you’ll and I always pick that comments as compliments and also as an inspiration for making my self better in being a WP blogger.

I know, I’m about to know more things, new learnings, new good friends, and whatnot as I continue on my journey ,I’ll take every thing as my stepping-stone and as a motivation for finding my skill more.


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